With that being said, there isn’t a whole lot to talk about. As far as bad movies go, it’s still relatively entertaining. Where it fails, surprisingly, isn’t necessarily at the production or acting or even character level. It’s mostly the setting and storyline that causes it to crash and burn. The WTF moments (Ice sprinkling water on Kat’s mouth) make it dated and cheesy too.
Let’s think about this for a second. Vanilla Ice was already over-hyped and over-marketed when this movie came out. You know, in those days we really loved the guy, for whatever reason, but Cool As Ice would act as the catalyst to his subsequent downward spiral.
Anyway, back to the setting of the movie. While it is believable that Ice and his crew would be touring across the nation and hitting up a few small towns along the way, it’s not a good setting to try to establish him as a cool white rapper (white picket fences are hardcore, man). This really didn’t add to his street cred. I’m sure of it.
As you might expect, this movie has a few musical segments. The opening isn’t so bad, but the bar scene where Ice and his crew try to take over a lame rock concert is pretty eye-roll inducing. I guess mid-tempo rap tunes were cool at one point or another, but this doesn’t even have old school cred. Ice, you shouldn’t try to sing. Also, your crew on backup sounds like they’re too tired to care (although they still look ridiculously peppy).
On a fundamental level, the musical interludes aren’t the worst of it. It’s really the utter lack of interesting setting and conflict that bring it Cool As Ice to utter ruin. First, a motorbike needs to be repaired (yeah, that’s real practical for touring) so the Ice crew has to stay in town for a while. Then, it turns out that Kathy’s (Ice’s love interest played by Kristin Minter) parents are under protective custody, and the generic evil corporate dudes find out their whereabouts.
It’s as if this plot and script were written for another movie entirely. When they heard that Vanilla Ice wanted to do something, they probably decided to merge the two together and see what they could come up with. That’s more or less how this movie plays out.
So, it’s definitely not the worst thing I’ve ever seen. It’s not a bad pick for a MST3K session if you like riffing on movies with friends. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be caught watching this alone. How embarrassing.